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Newest Member: Hesgayyy

Divorce/Separation :
I need to vent - infidelity is the worst thing one can do to another.

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 YouCanHaveThePettyLiar (original poster new member #87450) posted at 8:46 AM on Saturday, June 20th, 2026

Just to vent!!!!!

Why on earth cheating is no longer a conduct problem in divorce?????!!!!!

How is it fair that my kids' and my lives have been foreverly altered by the habitual liar and cheat?????

Then there is the fuckwit co-parenting!!!!!

So the OW or OM, not only break our families, but also get to involved with our kids?????!!!!!

May their fuck worth it all!!!!!

posts: 25   路   registered: Jun. 5th, 2026
id 8898201
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:23 AM on Saturday, June 20th, 2026

When the states adopted "no fault divorce" in the 80s or 90s, the betrayed spouses were dealt a huge blow.

And I agree with the position that the OW/OM now get to interact with our kids. Not a Dr Phil fan but he used to use statistics about step parents or non-biological parents living with kids and the high rate of sexual abuse.

I feel for parents forced into these situations.

I know if we D my H would have introduced my kids to the OW immediately. 馃槨馃槨. I could write a novel about her but suffice to say she was very interested in becoming the step mom. mad

No matter how you look at it, the betrayed gets shafted on so many levels.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 15593   路   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8898206
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 YouCanHaveThePettyLiar (original poster new member #87450) posted at 1:55 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2026

This is so inherently unfair!!!!! And leave a bad example for the future generations as well.

posts: 25   路   registered: Jun. 5th, 2026
id 8898214
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:25 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2026

You鈥檝e been heard. There is nothing fair about infidelity (or life, really).
Focus on your healing and future. Your lives are altered but they may end up SO MUCH BETTER.

Sending support. This stuff sucks.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6912   路   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   路   location: Northern CA
id 8898222
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 YouCanHaveThePettyLiar (original poster new member #87450) posted at 10:54 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2026

Thank you!!!!! I guess, best to be rid of a cheat than to be with one!!!!!

posts: 25   路   registered: Jun. 5th, 2026
id 8898243
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BackfromtheStorm ( member #86900) posted at 12:16 AM on Sunday, June 21st, 2026

There is a reason why cheating was treated across most cultures and for the most part of human history as a very serious matter, often receiving exclusion from the society or even the capital punishment.

It causes instability and break people, making them weak and vulnerable to further abuse, manipulation or just less productive.

So in the ancient times cheating might鈥檝e weakened tribes enough to be crushed by rival tribes. Even i. Less extreme scenarios caused instability.

There鈥檚 a pretty good reason why it is promoted and normalized in our culture lately.
The more destabilized you are the more controllable.

And it works.

Cheating is normalized and even promoted among the population.
However just try to cheat any power, economical or political and see if there鈥檚 any double standard.

That cheating is still punished severely like always, including the capital punishment. Sometimes is called treason just to make it sound different than your betrayal, but the concept itself is identical as the very root of the word.

You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.

posts: 858   路   registered: Jan. 7th, 2026   路   location: Poland
id 8898247
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NoThanksForTheMemories ( member #83278) posted at 5:30 AM on Sunday, June 21st, 2026

I hear you.

It's not fair. Nothing about infidelity is fair or reasonable or even comprehensible, really. We can explain it till we're short of breath, but that's our vain attempt to make sense of nonsense.

Vent here as often as you need to, and take the high road IRL.

WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Divorcing.

posts: 636   路   registered: May. 1st, 2023
id 8898255
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